Who is God?





God seems a mere fancy to me — spooky, hiding in the shadows, not really concerned. If love and anger are two feelings which are in people, I guess God don’t have these. In one story about Him He is a big Hand in the sky — of His Son, Jesus; a tough “figure out” for me. “What does He want?” I wonder! – the answer could fill a big void with the other “what you have to do’s.” At church and grade-school we think about God.

Statues of Jesus help at some picture making. In our church’s statues He seems a shepherd type, but I have never seen a real shepherd. These stir up notions more than real bytes. None of my senses make God out to be really real. He is not laughing nor crying; has no facial air. He speaks another language; Latin. I don’t know what “true to life” is yet.

So went my childhood years. Concepts of God and life’s portrait are just budding together.

He is a big checker; tallies the sins too. This God is kind of a B.F. Skinner type — He ignores the inner self with fears and lusts; the outward performance is more the deal. My growing-bigger ball of “real me” has no place in any discussions to my vexation; it is obnoxious to even suggest “my” needs or desires. 

Then to college. All the walls are tumbling down, fragile as they are. Life’s a mess. God is distant, even non-existent. Soul pulling and urges are taking over as I search for a caregiver. I long; I know not what for.

Something happens. God comes; full of life, to me at 25 years and a lot of torment is put to rest. He times the visit in the nick of when I am half-starved, and His appearance saves me. He focuses on my feelings, and then fills up my empty existence. He doesn’t appear a father to me yet, but a rescuer — A loving, saving being. He perfectly joins my fragmented soul, though I still barely know Him. Without a doubt this is my first true and glorious taste of God.

A few years later, I’m getting more of God. Not expecting it, God appears to me as a true disciplinarian. I had wrongly judged some of God’s other flock. I see God turn on me as an enemy. He withdraws Himself from me and resists me, as I find out about His protective side. He will not allow me to hurt His love for others; I discern covering love to be for me also . With a rounder picture of His true Fatherhood, He is taking me from Savior to Father.

Down the road still further, I mature as I discover even more of the person, God, perceiving Him in my Pastor’s sermons. His outline grows clearer, more vivid and animated. God loves; is kind, fair, and forgiving. He hates evil. He moves with sacrifice and dedication. He is a determined person who is bent on perfecting a life. He will not tolerate destructive things in me, He roots them out. 

God then is the major player in my season of heartbreak years later. Remarkably I still ask, “What is He trying to get from me? What does He want?  Is He doing it for love sake or punishment? God views this catastrophe through the gentle eyes of a Parent wanting to bless me at any cost. In addition, He uses the event to give me something no human could — a deeper meaning for my existence, and a true life-purpose with ability, confidence and gifting. He gives me friendship. God is the ultimate true man or woman builder.

What did I learn? Friends, without the God part, there is no story here for me. Seeing and knowing God supersedes any and all other possibilities a life can have. His involvement makes the life drama work, and He is the grand prize of it all. He has an agenda.

Paul said, “All things are lawful for me but not all are expedient.” “But I will not be brought under the power of any.” And then again in chapter 10 of Corinthians, “but all things edify not.” Friends, everything does not gather or form into a whole. Everything does not build; some things destroy the freedom that it takes to be human. Some things bring bondage. Not God.

Paul is shepherding the people of Corinth to learn to think as God does; a developer, shaper, and maturity maker. Yes our Father has a mind to make something good out of us. Even if we are foolish, we will confound the wise one day; count on it. If weak, we will confound the mighty; God will do it. God will perform the thing concerning us.

Lastly, we have freedom, beloved. But get ready, because God has liberated us to build a useful purpose in us. He loves us more than we care. When we see Our Father’s way, self-depreciating tendencies get discarded with our free will choices. We begin cooperation with the Great God, friend and builder; we gain a vision for our lives! We gain a vision for other’s lives. It’s all Him, it’s all grace, it’s all a simple response for us. “Faithful is He who called us, He will also do it!” Love ya.

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