Tag: <span>relationships</span>

  I spoke to young folks recently, high-schoolers. They cherish “friends,” popularity, and “feel good” relationships. In Prov 8:31 Wisdom’s “delight” centers on the sons of men. Logic concludes: “young people and wisdom connect.” Both want relationships. Youth need “cool” to hold friends. So, young vie for acceptance. Cool people have life by the tail, they build social skills. They can handle most any situation, but the problem nags; Where get we the love? Enter Wisdom’s plan: Tear down — Walls erected social-skill-wise, They are phony. Masks must melt off. Catchy phrases explode in face. All veneer goes ca-phooey. How done? God commences work, He specializes here. First, He teaches suffering’s true meanings. Christ became poor, that we, through His poverty might become rich. He became sin, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. He purchased salvation with His blood. Our suffering enables understanding of His suffering. Ours promotes meaningful relationships and identification…

“How we feel about how we feel.” John Gottman, marriage psychologist at the University of Washington, opened up to us the concept of “meta-emotions” or essentially “how we feel about how we feel.” Not just how we feel or even what’s our emotional makeup, but how we emotionally deal with the inward phenomena? John Gottman gives us 3 meta-emotional categories: “those in favor of emotional expression, those opposed to it, and those in favor of finding a balance between positive and negative emotions.” He admits these can be fuzzy. Nevertheless folks differing with others in their meta-emotional category may not be so well-matched. He sees his wife’s anger as, “yelling at me.” A wife with an abusive background had “lots of anger” but didn’t see the anger as a bad thing. She saw it as a source of strength. The husband had had a home life where his parents bickered…