Many things we do and don’t do because of unwritten rules.
Brian Dozier wrote in an article on “unwritten rules” at espn.com: he lists a few used in Baseball:
- “Don’t yell ‘Ha!’ right when we’re about to catch a popup because that would startle us and we might drop it.” I’m sure it would!
- “Don’t bunt 10 times at our pitcher who has the yips, (can’t pitch accurate) because he’ll probably mess up and you’ll get on base.”
- “Don’t quick pitch — I’m not ready!”(pitching before the batters ready).
- Also, don’t steal bases in a blowout, (game is out of reach) , because then we have to keep trying to make sure you don’t.
- And no hustle-doubles (running very fast to extend a one-base-hit to a two) in blowouts. Take it eaaaasy.”
For those who don’t grasp the game of baseball, lets just say, these unwritten rules are about fair play, sportsmanship, not belittling or embarrassing or provoking a reaction. These are no-no’s.
These could also be called “manners.”
- No elbows on the table when eating.
- No eating before we say “grace.”
- Napkin goes on the lap, etc.
Another field of interest would be driving ethics. Turn-signaling was once mandated in our town, (still could be), but has evolved as a “nice gesture.” Passing a car from the right also grew into a major irritant, as has cutting off a car and making those folks slam their brakes. etc.
When unwritten rules or manners are neglected or ignored we may have a lot of irate people — appalled, shocked, embarrassed, or offended.
In Christian fellowship circles, these kinds of rules cannot be upheld or enforced, unfortunately. Why?
The Christian rule is more like, “in nothing I am offended.” As Christians who uphold the Bible truth, our part frankly anticipates discourtesies and refrains shock when these unspoken rules are broken. The bottom line is that we all have, or do, some of these.
“Courtesy” reflects civility, politeness, consideration, gentility, or good manners etc.
Could we say that evading dis-courtesy must be a way of life for some? Yes.
How does a person do that?
There are no shortcuts. The purity of God’s unconditional love must govern our soul. Nobody can pretend at love, we either have it or not. Returning evil for evil does not cut the mustard. We must be gentlemen and gentle-ladies.
John Wayne one-ups even that, “You’ve got to be a man first before you can be a gentleman.”
“A gentleman has the ability — the power, cleverness, confidence, and even the desire — to ride roughshod over your interests, muscle you aside, and manipulate you…but, he has instead voluntarily chosen to restrain himself to follow a more moral “course. He’s a coiled spring, and his self-control showcases one of the timeless markers of manhood: will.”
“The respect given a gentleman is thus premised on constraint.” artofmanliness.com
So, the Bible teaches: “But for this very reason–adding, on your part, all earnestness— along with your faith, manifest also a noble character: along with a noble character, knowledge; along with knowledge, self-control; along with self-control, power of endurance; along with power of endurance, godliness; along with godliness, brotherly affection; and along with brotherly affection, love. 2 Peter 1:5-7 Weymouth Translation
Summarily, watching folks regularly exhibit traits unbecoming to a gentle-man or lady, reveals our training ground for developing constraint/graciousness.
“Favoring,””dear,”and “pleased,” are Latin and French derivations for “grace” and so, graciousness.
Can we honestly go beyond our disciplines and favor a person, hold them dear, be pleased with them?
First, lets realize, God does this with us, though we feel often like an annoyance to Him.
We break the unwritten rules, nevertheless, we are still dear to Him! We are discourteous, but, He favors us still. We get offended, but He is always pleased with us in conversation. Thank you Jesus! love ya