We have a wedding in our family this weekend and I must do the
ring ceremony. Oh boy! What to say? Vows? Well, regardless of my speech
impediments, vows, vows, vows are commitments of a special kind. Our marrying candidates will circulate their rings amongst the
congregation as the ceremony proceeds, and ask for all to have a special
prayer for them. Is this for real? I asked the question also. Answer–
extremely real. Why? Because vows are not lightly taken .
Our society has left God out of the mix, and recreated a blend in which
vows today are not so popular. As a culture, we have taught our
children directly or indirectly that vows and commitments are too
extreme. We have intimated that they are too hard to keep and have
allowed our children to break promises left and right.
How
have we done this? First precept at bat– have sex, (a commitment), but
disregard the consequences. Have an abortion. Have no sense of
responsibility for what you have created or done. Second up —live
together as a couple but leave out the commitment. No need to tie the
knot with a ring and a real ceremony and express vows before witnesses.
Why? “Well, lets just see how it works out” is a common response. Batting
third —get married, but if it doesn’t seem to be working, get a
divorce. Am I making a point?
Fourth and cleanup —lets
paint marriage as a picture of two anybodies, hopping into bed for
sexual pleasure with the government supporting, and abominate the sacred
Christian bond-mystery, picturing Christ and His Church, (Ephesians 5).
How are our young people to interpret the precepts we have presented to
them?
I am embarrassed to say, we have given license to live loose and free,
disregard consequences, and lean on many bailouts, just in case the two
don’t like what they have done. Folks, I don’t know one honest
businessperson who could build on such malarkey. But our society, (not
everybody), coddles gutless, pretentious, foolish behavior, calls it a
mistake, and often even rewards it. Enough!
I must shift gears or throw up. I want to suggest to our wimpy culture a few things. First is: sorry, there will
be consequences, cover-up or not. Two, a vow can be carried out with
success, only if God is allowed to be in the middle. Nobody is
suggesting that all will be peachy easy once a vow is made. But Psalm 15
says we make a vow to our own hurt. I see so little of the
self-sacrificing, determined, love of dedication where a man and a woman
stick it out through difficulties and grow in intimacy and integrity
because of it.
Where is character building, where honor,
where loyalty, where a love that needs help of God and the support of
men? Instead we have offered our children shortcuts, lowered the
standard, implied a sentimental kind of love to replace tough love, and
sparingly we have spoiled the child. A spoiled child has no humility to
change or capacity to adjust, nor will to cooperate with another, all a
part of any successful relationship.
Well, I guess I have a
lot to say. I am proud to report that these two, marrying this weekend,
one my own son, have taken it the serious way. They wish to make real
vows and before God and men, need our prayers and support, in more ways
than one.
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