Tag: brokenness

Life has jagged edges, abrasive surfaces, serrated openings, and corrugated backs. These help us to grip something, but how hard? They dull a sharp knife and make it a saw, they wipe out a pattern, and make things hard to follow. These crinkled grooves wear away at a habit and move us toward change. O happy day, we might say, but not to dismay. If we are annoyed about the rough and tumble, could it be that we matriculate toward the smooth side? Whatta you mean? I mean; are you partial, comfort-bent toward the safe living zone ? We all admit this, because we all grossly underestimate how drastic a metamorphosis beckons its operation within us. We find ourselves thinking in tiny adjustments’ terms, while God determines shifting paradigms, and  entire value-systems’ revamps.  See, we must be born again, then our “born again” must emerge from its safe cocoon. We…

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Love – that capacity which enables him to grasp the other human being in his very uniqueness     Conscience – that capacity which empowers him to grasp the meaning of a situation in its very uniqueness. Both are intuitive capacities.  The uniqueness  envisaged by love refers to the unique possibilities the loved person may have – – – the uniqueness envisaged by conscience refers to a unique necessity, to a unique need one may have to meet. Vicktor Frankl Frankl has discovered something very interesting about love. He calls it a capacity or an ability to absorb, finding its fulfillment by tenderly embracing another human being in their very one-of-a-kindness. Frankl goes on to say that this one-of-a-kindness, envisioned by love, refers to the special potentials the loved person may have. We could say then that love always “identifies” with another. Frankel also mentions the conscience. It, too, owns capacity…

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There is a song sung by Francisco Ortega called “Now that you’re Gone.” It’s a song about a brother lost, and of a mourning sibling; the world spins without meaning, now that he is gone. Spins without meaning, has this happened to you? It is amazing, how one’s worldview, one’s value system, forsake their meaning–providing function and betray our trust. It’s as if a mean trick has manipulated us, or has been fooling us all along. It wounds us, it strikes down our high place of safety and repose. It sabotages in a moment what has been built over many years perhaps. We spin, and spin. An essential element, a vital piece of the puzzle, an every day visitor suddenly is missing, and we have no answers. We turn to God. But shockingly we find this event has no prior reference in our conceptualized view of God. Our phony world…

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Folks refuse surrender. As I achieved a physique and acquired an attitude, a determination attended me; “Tom, never give in.” Post–high school wanderings brought a war; a war with everyone and everything. The main target: any representation of the establishment. Secondary targets? It really didn’t matter, I opposed every truth representing antagonist. Attitude is everything!  I wanted to grow my hair, as all the nonconformists did in my day and this meant moving out as kicked, because long hair didn’t fly in our house. I had learned how to smoke dad’s Pall Malls and developed it into dope smoking. Alcohol fetched comfort. I loved the feelings and freed inhibitions. Music serenaded my nodding and determined my weekend’s prowling, as girls also became a perpetual focus. I was a self-made man, Hardy har har.  Steel mill introduced a Wonderland to us uninitiated. Mill reminded me of a Day-Glo poster; only without…

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We find with Jacob’s story his challenge of handling his own value fluctuations —secondly, his forming of deep personal convictions. We find this even more than with the stories of Abraham and Isaac. Another way of saying it is; he was made to stand, in the midst of circumstances and relationships, while these pressed against his inward citadel, gradually forcing a determined-fight mentality in Jacob. He fought the war between belief and unbelief. For healing, Jacob gives us, uncensored, stark reality in living color. We have looked at the fallen nature of man worked in, now we look at the “reversing” plan of God; and it too, chiseled into a soul. Jacob’s adverse challenges arose from a flight of fear. Brother Esau had threatened to kill him, leading to a miserable tenure under uncle Laban. So, he is made to deal with his own insecurity and the deceit of Laban…

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 “…and that they were afraid was the essential consequence of the fact that they retrograded from Gods love and had therefore incurred Gods wrath.” Franz Delitzsch Conscience “a knowing together with God” awakens the terriblest. Every gritty body nerve, and every psychic sinew, in denial, dreads the dawning of conscience. It arrives as a wake up call on the level of a freight-train. It whisks us away into a clawing-out mode of life. Flat-out life-loathing attends it. We’re hijacked into bustle’s whims, all of which we vowed, would get consideration when hell freezes over.   But no; we’re head-over-heels right now, hot-footed feet blazing.     “My life slipped way out of sync, my true-blue supporters turned out miserable liars.”  “Woe is me, I am undone, a man of unclean lips.”  “Thou Art the Man.” cried Nathan”   Conscience: confronts the willful infant coddle and screams “get the ‘h’ off your…

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  As a heart-changed Christian, I had long left the Catholic thing. Yes, the booths, the genuflecting, the holy water and the game were all sustained gone. Unfortunately, the 7 years after-Cath and before heart-change, allowed the monster of Tom to form and grow. This freak of nature, hair as long as any girl, donned size 11 platforms below the “bells” and became a herb smoking, peace bro-ing, concert grouping, what’s-your-bag, man, kind of guy. I was so happy to never have to confess any sins during that whole time. In fact, I considered nothing I was doing as sin, and really had no need for a priest. These were the sincere, tomorrow we die, if it feels good do it, days. We were not pretending anything, just seriously partying and making a life of that. The phoniness of our prior trying-hard at life convinced us life had no meaning,…

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 Woods and Snow        “That men were ashamed, was the essential consequence of the fact that their glory; that clothing of honor of their body had been perverted into the shame of nakedness… Franz Delitzsch So far, (in this book), we have reviewed an abstract on hair-raising trauma, a treatise of the ego, and a true to life tale about how the downward drag of religion started the negative ball rolling in my young life. What do these three very different thoughts imply? Where do they overlap? Do you relate at all to the parts, or whole? I actually asked myself a similar question; what is a very real similarity in it all? The striking point of cohesion is written in one word: shame. Shame and awareness of inadequacy, awareness of a need for more, a groping to reach for something not yet there, and the thing that brings a…

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Frustrating things humble a man or woman’s soul. They do things in two categories: (1) take away something that was there prior, narrow resources, block or limit the number, etc. (2) open up, redirect, or painfully bring into view what is left, in its raw and pure form, heightening the need for creativity of a distinctly unique breed of living result. What do I mean? I’m squeezed by events, illness, wrong decisions, people and their decisions, money matters, or even jail. Why? Wrong question! If you can figure out “why,” you have rationally charted your future in the image of your carefully derived and wise findings. In other words you may have allowed the frustrating limits to also inhibit your ability in going forward. I would like to ask you a question: are you sure about “why”?  Why do I ask? Because it is better, maybe, if we don’t know…

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Josh on Sunday School bus, 1984 As a Christian, how can I have a good self image? Well, “what a person believes other people think about them,” is how the world looks at a self-image. So, lets start there. When a person has a poor self-image, it hints to me they are still a bit on the subjective side. In other words, they may unconsciously care about what others think because they must have a good evaluation next time they do a check.  Fine! God’s response to these types, (maybe all of us), expresses how He thinks about us, and that is His answer. He can’t, however, impress us with His evaluation till we come to our end of self-evaluation.  See, we are so full of other standards of measurement, God’s gauge can’t find it’s way in there. I know we can say all the big words, but honestly, our…

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