Joshua would be 40 years old on April 10 if he had survived his bout with cancer. 14 years have past since his untimely passing. We remember him today.
I have thought of Josh much this past 14 years, but I am okay. God has allowed my imperfect life to continue and has paid me back with many blessings of the spiritual and physical sort. I have enjoyed the friendship of God’s Spirit, of Jesus, and the Father. I have been allowed to simply be myself, to speak transparently, to have a ministry with the broken hearted. I have felt God’s loving comfort for grievers; I have identified with their pain.
These things we have learned from Joshua’s life and dying:
- The events of life, thrills or tragedy, are not mere speed-bumps to recover from, but are doorways which open to new worlds.
- Many hidden gifts and desires opened for me which were previously submerged by my own strict moral guidance system.
- Guidance for me now consists of The Father’s grace, His daily mercy, His unfailing love for me, His friendly encouragement, His dedication to my success and well-being, etc. etc.
- I am brand new.
Lastly, Josh, you taught us songs: “You’re the Smile on my Face,” “Home is where my Heart is Now.”
And my favorite words from Joshua: “If there’s a heart that needs un-breaking, mistake that needs unmaking, never be afraid to seek my face; tell me your heart’s desire, I know all that heart requires, the promises I’ve made will never change. If my word is in your heart, you’re always safe.”
I’ve tried to do this ever since.
Miss you son.